My new mothering life

Aug 10, 2009

"Being a mother is an excitement and enticement and a growth. It is the possibilty that haunts and delights the young girl as she grows to womanhood. It is a part of the fantasy, both her longing for it and her fear of it. The months of pregnancy highlight all the richness of the remembered and internalized experience about mothering. The birth itself brings forth the baby, until now a fantasy, into reality. This real baby is a constant changing, crying, knowing being, and for me the delight of this experience has been one of the most important parts of my life as a women."

- Dr. Beverley Raphael

Being a mother has changed my life, but of course it changes every womens life. It truely is a blessing. I honsetly can't explain into words how I feel and how it makes me feel. It's amazing to carry a human inside as it devolopes into the most wonderful thing in the world; a miracle. It's such an accomplishment and once that little baby is in your arms the emotions that run through your body are everlasting. I couldn't stop crying happy tears once Hailey came into this world. I knew I was going to be emtional, but I really didn't think I was going to cry for 15 minutes straight afterwards! Giving birth was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but I wouldn't change it for anything and I appreciate everyone who was there to share it with me. It just tickles me pink that we created such a precious little thing. I hope we can be some pretty darn good parents. She makes me giddy just looking at her :) And as Grandpa and Uncle Justin put it, "She's better than the t.v."

As the years go by I am honored that Jim and I get to watch Hailey grow into a wonderful darling little woman. For me to be the one to nourish and then to see her grow from it is truely wondrous. I'm excited to see her first steps, hear her angelic laugh, and hear her first words. I know the the first time she says "I love you Mommy" will be the greatest moment ever, second to giving birth to her :) I'll probably cry a little even. The first time she smiled at me warmed my heart and, yet again, I cried but I was laughing as I was crying. It was beautiful. I often wonder what kind of personality she'll have, what all her favorite things will be, what her voice will sound like, will she be like mommy or will she be like daddy, will her and Kitty get along or will she be dragging him by the tail around the house. I want those moments to come, but I also want her to stay my tiny little bundle. And then of course there's going to be even more firsts down the road: her first day of school, her first best friend, her first boy friend, her first heart break, her first job, her sweetsixteen...and the list goes on.
"There's only one pretty baby in the world, and every monther has it." I love that quote becsaue it's so true. Hailey is the reason I was put on this earth and I hope we can give her all that she deserves. You bet your butt she will be a spoiled little girl down to the core, maybe not with all the material things, but she is loved oh so much by oh so many people. But then again, how could we say no to that pretty little face? ;)
My life has just begun and it's going to be an awesome ride!
I will never have another boring day! :)