Lazy Ladies

So ladies are gettin pretty darn lazy and spoiled when it comes to actually flushing a toilet! I went to pee in Target today and 2 of the 3 stalls still had relief in them! I'm pretty sure it's because now a days all the toilets are automatic flush and lazy people just assume the toilet is going to flush on its own and doesn't check or even hear that it didn't flush! It's just very annoying when a pregnant women has to pee super bad and has to find a toilet that isn't nasty.
...I just had to vent about how nasty public bathrooms, without atomatic toilets, are becoming. I admit I love how the airports are no door, automatic flush, automatic water facet and automatic soap dispenser, It's like you dont have to touch a single thing! But I do make sure the toliet does flush before I leave even if it is automatic, I mean how hard is it to do that? Ugh!

Kickin Mama Bear

OMG! The force of this little unborn babys kick is getting so bad it put me into tears on my way home from work today! I really wouldn't doubt if she has givin me a bruised rib, its so sore and teneder now. She really needs to come out, this is getting tough!

Left in the dust

"...They say behind every man is a good woman but I think that's a lie 'cause when it comes to you, I'd rather have you by my side..."

That song lyric comes to my mind everytime my husband and I are walking "together" and he's infront of me and I'm 5 steps behind because I can't keep up on account of my waddling. It just makes me sad. Sometimes I'll say something to him, because this has happend more than once. He would say something like, he was trying to get outta the cars way or he was trying to get outta the rain, some kind of excuse... while I'm stuck behind in the cars way and still walking in the rain! Now I know he loves me and he is a good guy, he just doesn't think sometimes and it would be great if he would walk beside me no matter how slow I'm going and no matter how much of a hurry we're in. Becasue I am, after all, carring his child!

I heard that song on the radio on my home from work today and it made me think of those times.

Confused.

So I'm not sure what I'm going to do about work next school year. I'm scared to go back full time because I know its going to break my heart to leave my baby girl with daycare strangers. We cant live off just Jims paychecks, we can barely get by right now with mine coming in once a month. I'm terrified for when she arrives and we're gonna be even more broke! Well I thought about going back part time...still not enough money. I thought about tranfering to a closer school, not 30 mins away...I'd still have to leave her somewhere. I thought about a completly different, better paying job, but I love my job. Which sucks, the one job I absolutly love doesn't pay worth crap and we have a family now to support :( big bummer! Another stresser to go along with this dilema is my principal recommended me for tuiton and book help to go back to school the 09-10 school year to get my teaching degree (the application is due by the 29th of this month)...well 1) it's just for one year, as far as I know 2) it's only help not a full ride, which we really can afford the rest 3) it's a really great opportunity and a step in the right direction for my future career, but 4) working, taking care of a baby and going back to school just makes me want to rip my hair out just thinking about it! Ugh! I just don't know! Oh, then I also thought about getting a job at a daycare where I could bring her along, but would I be able to handle taking care of other peoples babies and kids while taking care of mine? But then again I don't want to leave working for Omaha Public Schools...I might have to if I have no other option though. I wonder how other mothers deal with this kind of situation. I wish teachers got paid better for all they do!
I have a lot of thinking to do. Wish me luck!

Tears Of Suprise

So today I am 36 weeks. Woot 4 more to go! Well today was awesome! I feel very loved! About an hour before school was out 6 moms and a dad come walkin in with a huge cake, presents, saying "Suprise!" with big smiles on their faces. It was a second baby shower for me! I was so so suprised I started crying. They thought for sure one of their kids would ruin it for me and spill the beans, but no one did and even Ms. Barb said that a couple times one of the munkins would say, "We're having a party for Ms. Jasmine!" But I didnt hear it...I wasnt paying attention. A good thing too because I have never had a suprise party thrown for me. We had cake and juice and played a couple games. It was so much fun and such a good feeling! Ms. Barb even sent out the invites home with the kids in their baskets...I didnt see a single envolope. It was very well planned and something I will never forget. I loved it! :)

Oh baby!

Being pregnant is just so so surreal. I wake up every morning and get reminded every morning that I'm pregnant. Somedays I smile. I see and feel my growing belly, I've heard her heartbeat, I've seen all her little parts on the sonagram, I've got the strech marks, I feel her little moves along with her kicking and punching and yet I know it all wont seem really real till she's in my arms. It just amazes me. It's simply amazing. I'm going to be a mom and it really kinda scares me.

People tell me not to wish away wanting to be pregnant because once she comes I'm gonna wish she was still in me, but even if that is the case I can wish and hope all I want and there's still nothing I can do about it, like now I can do absolutly nothing about it. Dont get me wrong it's great I just want it to be over. I want her here. I'm uncomfortable in so many different ways, she's constantly kicking the crap outta my bladder, if I'm comfortable she's not and she'll kick and punch me till I move so she is, it's just always one thing after another... and I still have 3 months to go. And again I know there is absolutly nothing I can do, I just feel like venting. I especially hate it when I tell people about this extra weight I'm carring and how its got me sore and they have the nerve to say, "What extra weight?" Like, Hello!! It's more weight than I'm used to and my back is constantly telling me this! Screw you, you dont know what I'm personally going through! And what do I say to those who tell me I'm soooo tiny? Is it a compliment? Should I say thank you or should I take offense to it? I'm sorry you were apparently a cow when you were pregnant, but tell me what I can do to help you! The doctors are constantly reminding me that I am tiny and I'm trying my best to put on weight, but there is only so much I can fit in my stomach along with taking fiber tablets the dr also recomended. It really makes me feel bad more than anything because I'm the one taking care of her and I feel I'm not doing all I should be when everyone tells me she's smaller than she's supposed to be. Ugh. It's a blessing in disquise, I guess. I know she'll be well worth it once she's in my arms though :). I just want her here so I have someone who needs me to hangout with them, too. Who wants to hang out with an emotional moody pregnant women who isn't satisfied with nothing these days and gets irritated by anything and every little thing?! Ahhhh