"I understand, but I'm tired of
understanding. All I do is
understand. For once I would like
someone to be on the other end
trying to understand me..."

[Our harsh world]

"If the anti-
abortion movement
[& until only recently, most of the
US population]
took a tenth of the energy they
put into noisy theatrics and
devoted it to improving the
lives of children who have been
born into lives of poverty,
violence and neglect; they could
make a world shine." -Michael
Jay Tucker

on the edge

where has my patience gone?
Where has my tolerance run
off to? And happiness...well i
just dont know what that
feels like anymore. The life
has been sucked outta me
and the tears dont bring it
back....

on the edge

where has my patience gone?
Where has my tolerance run
off to? And happiness...well i
just dont know what that
feels like anymore. The life
has been sucked outta me
and the tears dont bring it
back....

"I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while."-Juno

What I wish I was doing right now...

Before I Was A Mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep...

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt..
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom..

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom